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Wednesday, Jan. 28, 2015

Pacifier not included

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Halloween is over, the first mention of snow has appeared in the weather forecast, and this weekend marks the return to Standard Time (remember to set those clocks back on Saturday night).

Yes, fall is slipping away before our very eyes.

I imagine many people have fired up their furnaces and prepared for the coming dark and cold of winter.

This past weekend, my wife and I were watching television and we saw a commercial for a product whose time has finally arrived. Never have I seen a two-minute commercial that made me laugh and be ashamed to be alive as the one I saw last Saturday morning.

With winter and high heating bills on the horizon, many have turned to electric space heaters to keep themselves warm in the room they are in while keeping the thermostat turned down for the rest of the house.

This trend has been popular for the past several years and has some merit. We have one of the heaters in our home and it does a good job of taking the chill off as the furnace works to warm the house.

During the first Arab oil embargo in 1973, many were forced out of necessity to turn down thermostats and find other ways to keep warm. An ambitious manufacturer took a quilted blanket, added a zipper and some snaps and made the Snug Sack, the first product that allowed you to lounge around in a sleeping bag inside your home.

We had a few in our house, how about you?

A couple of years ago, this concept was reimagined, as they like to say, into the Snuggie. Technological advances in fabric have yielded polar fleece, which is much lighter and keeps you just as warm as a quilt. The Snuggie is basically a blanket with sleeves.

The commercials for the product were, in my opinion, among the most lame and unintentionally funny spots I had ever seen. They actually had people out in public wearing these blankets!

I thought this was about as low as we would go until I saw the latest "innovation" in personal comfort apparel. The product, "Forever Lazy," takes the Snuggie concept to the next level.

Forever Lazy is a polar fleece one-piece jumpsuit, described in the commercial as "the one piece, lie around, lounge around, full body lazy wear!"

Yes, they are basically adult footie pajamas with openings for your hands, head and feet. Don't worry, there is a hood and they sell matching footwear so you can have the full immersion experience.

The commercial shows people lounging around the house, even attending football games wearing these pajamas. They do come in three stylish colors, after all: Workday Blues, Hanky Pinky Fuchsia and my favorite -- Asleep on the Job Gray.

An important feature that can not be discounted are the zippered hatches in front and back for, according to the commercial, "great escapes when duty calls."

Perusing the website, I found the following testimonial: "You guys are absolutely genius!! I remember they days of footie pj's (I was born in 79) and brown winter coats with one white stripe, two if you were cool. You have no idea how many times in the past 15 years of my life that I have thought to myself "Why won't anyone offer footie pj's for adults?!". You have solved this dilemma for me and with champion design! Removing the feet should award you a Nobel Prize!!

-Jonathan"

Look, I'm sure the thing is comfortable and warm. But where, oh where has our self-respect gone? Would people actually wear these things in public? If we have become a society so fixated on personal comfort and lack of self respect, why don't we just wear diapers as well?

It's a slippery slope, but I'm sure the fleece in the Forever Lazy will help us slide down even faster...

As always, I welcome your comments. You can reach me by email at tstangl@lemarscomm.net, telephone 712-546-7031, x40 or toll free 1-800-728-0066 x40.

Thanks for reading, I'll keep in touch. Feel free to do the same.

By Tom Stangl
From the publisher's desk