Inspired gift: Calling to donate kidney unites two strangers

(Photo contributed) In the hospital after the successful kidney transplant, which took a total of about six hours, Larry, the recipient, and Renee Minar, of Le Mars, share a thankful moment. Renee is now back at home in Le Mars, well on her way to recovery. [Click to enlarge]

His kidneys were all but destroyed by a genetic disease and he was spending more than 12 hours each week in dialysis just to survive.

There were no donor matches available among his family and friends.

(Sentinel photo by Magdalene Landegent) A special teddy bear, created by the 58 year old who received Renee Minar's donated kidney, now graces her house with a special recorded message from the recipient, giving Renee a "humble thanks." [Click to enlarge]

Then something -- someone -- unexpectedly changed his life.

A Le Mars woman he'd never met before, Renee Minar, offered to give him her kidney.

Renee, a stay-at-home mom with nine children counting both hers and her husband Darrin Minar's, had been considering giving one of her kidneys to Joel Meade, of Le Mars.

Years ago, Renee and the Meade family lived across the street from each other. Renee and Joel's wife Marilyn Meade built a close friendship, which they continued even after Renee moved.

When Renee's children came home from school and told her Joel needed a kidney, she immediately contacted the Meades and planned to get tested to see if her kidney would be compatible.

Then Marilyn found she was a match and decided to give Joel her kidney.

Renee dropped the idea, but it kept coming back to the front of her mind.

"What I tell people is we're a Christian family," Renee explained. "I said to Darrin, 'I think God wants me to give someone one of my kidneys.' If I was going to give it to Joel, I could give it to someone else who needs it."

Soon after, Renee talked to her doctor about how to get tested to see if she was a good candidate for giving a kidney and if she was a match for anyone.

Her doctor was stumped.

Less than one-half of the 18,000 kidney donors in the United States are unrelated, living donors, and a portion of those are friends of the recipient.

A few years ago, Renee had read the Le Mars Daily Sentinel's story of Le Mars woman Stacy Wiltgen, who donated her kidney to a young girl she'd never met. Renee contacted Stacy, who had a few telephone numbers for places to get tested.

One of those places was in Des Moines. The transplant coordinator there, Katy Faber Lee, was the sister of one of Renee's high school classmates. Renee decided to contact the Des Moines transplant office.

Testing began in June 2009 -- a many step process that looked at everything from whether Renee's kidneys were functioning properly to if she was mentally prepared to donate an organ.

"I met with the transplant team which included a social worker and psychologists, and they pick your brain to make sure you're doing it for the right reasons," Renee said. "They want to make sure you know everything you're getting into."

When asked what Renee would do if she or any of her children ever needed a kidney, she replied that she had nine children, ranging in age from 5-23 years old.

"One of them's got to be a match," Renee laughed.

The surgeon couldn't help but agree, she said.

"He said, 'I think you have that covered,'" Renee said.

Her children have been very supportive of her decision, she added.

But beyond that, Renee said she felt God was calling her to give her kidney.

"It's all in God's hands," she said. "You can't live in the 'What if?'s God's got it covered."

Testing continued, paid for by Iowa Methodist Hospital and, later, the recipient's insurance.

"The only thing I had to cover was travel expenses," Renee said.

On Sept. 3, Renee got the call from Katy -- they had a possible match.

Less than two weeks later, she and the recipient, Larry, a 58-year-old man from central Iowa, emailed each other.

Larry explained that he had Polycystic Kidney Disease (PKD), a genetic disease that plagues about 600,000 Americans and involves multiple cysts growing on the kidneys, essentially causing them to fail.

Two of his daughters have the same disease.

Renee set up a meeting, and she and her husband got together with Larry and his wife in Le Mars in October.

"They're a really cool couple -- we visited for five hours," Renee said.

Later on the phone Larry told Renee he had something he needed to tell her.

"He said, 'I go to church, but not all the time,'" Renee recalled. "Then he said. 'But a while ago I decided I needed to give everything to God, it was up to him, and I went to church and prayed about it.'"

Within days, he received a call from the transplant coordinator Katy, who said, "We have someone for you."

The surgery was set for Nov. 10, 2009.

Renee wasn't too nervous -- this was her 14th surgery.

Her surgeon was worried scar tissue from previous surgeries might make a laparoscopic kidney removal impossible.

To take her kidney laparoscopically would leave Renee with four small scars. To take it otherwise would require making a 15-inch cut on her side tracing the bottom of her rib cage.

"I was OK with that," Renee said.

But when she came out of surgery, her surgeon was smiling. The laparoscopic surgery was a success and so was Larry's.

"I grinned at my surgeon and said, 'See, I told you the whole time, this is a God thing,'" Renee said.

Within two days, Renee was home, in church a few days later and doing laundry the next day for her husband and the four children that still live at home.

While she has to take it easy for some time, donating a kidney will cause no changes to Renee's lifestyle.

"Your body can live with just one kidney. It adapts," Renee said. "Some people are born with just one."

She wants to share that message with others.

While 80,000 people are waiting for kidney donors in the U.S. alone, only 18,000 will receive one each year.

Many will die waiting.

"I would strongly encourage people, if they felt like helping somebody, to go and be tested to see if they can be a donor," Renee said.

In fact, she's not done herself.

"Kidney's aren't the only thing you can give. You can donate part of your liver, too," she said.

Renee already contacted a Nebraska hospital about the process.

"My husband tells me to take one thing at a time," Renee grinned. "I'll wait until I'm healed up."

One night, when Renee and her husband were meeting with Larry and his wife for dinner, Larry presented Renee with a large box.

Inside was an original teddy bear Larry had made himself in a create-a-bear shop. It's name: Heavenly Grace.

"I love teddy bears, and to know this 58-year-old man went into a bear workshop and built this bear is just...wow," Renee said.

The bear has a heartbeat when you hug it, and when you squeeze its paw, it has a special message, recorded in Larry's voice.

"God truly does work in mysterious ways," it says. "He's brought us together for a purpose you and I might only be able to guess at, but all I can say is, humbly, thank you."