Say it ain't so: Favre breaks already broken hearts

Of course many Packers fans are still convalescing from the last time Favre was back and wearing a different shade of green.

So this time, as Monica put it in one episode of Friends, Favre is "just taking (our) already broken heart(s) and breaking (them) into smaller, more manageable pieces."

Favre was definitely a loved one for Wisconsinites and Packers fans across the country. There's just something about the small town of Green Bay that makes all the fans feel like a big happy family.

That family saw its first marital strife last offseason, when Favre's return talks led to the messiest divorce in Wisconsin history and the beloved went to be with his new lover as Favre's brief affair in New York began.

But our beloved being dubbed Brett the Jet was not as painful as knowing what he really wanted: to be a Viking.

Favre's stint in New York existed solely to provide a buffer between his first and second marriages. It was a brief affair that expired midway through the season, giving the Jets little reason to maintain their hold on the legendary QB.

With very little concern for the future, the Jets released Favre as well as their coach and moved on. All of this set up what Favre wanted in the first place, a new home in Minnesota with the Vikings.

This is when the broken-hearted wipe away the tears and sink into a state of pure rage.

The stage of denial and thinking "this isn't really happening to me" is long past and fans are sinking quickly into the reality that their beloved former quarterback will be on their turf on the first of November, wearing the dreaded purple uniform.

Favre's fans, many of whom remained so steadfast and loyal during his tenure in New York, now feel more betrayed than Bridget Moynahan felt when Tom Brady married Gisele.

As if the cheating wasn't bad enough, the whole messy affair is coming to their home turf (well, grass actually). Yes, Favre will be back in Lambeau Field, throwing touchdowns and interceptions, on November 1.

But until the first Packers/Vikings faceoff of the 2009 season (at Minnesota on October 5), many fans may remain in the stage of denial.

On Tuesday, I found myself completely out of the denial stage and well into the feelings of rage and betrayal and I wondered, "What will come next?"

In the five stages of grief, anger is merely the second. Bargaining comes next.

The only bargain in the present situation that would propel me into the next stage (depression) would be if Favre got injured before the October 5 reunion in the Metrodome.

Sure, they say his shoulder is better, that the surgery healed him. But come on, he is old. And all jokes aside, once you've injured something, it's much easier to do again.

And we all know how hard Favre can hurl the football. He's got receivers popping their fingers back into place every time they catch a pass.

So I suppose my bargaining would simply be: "Please let Favre be finished with the season before October 5."

That way, I could sink into a stage of depression, knowing my former football boyfriend (an inside joke with a producer at Fox News) ended his career in the lowest of states - injured, disrespected and in a purple jersey.

And perhaps at this point, just perhaps, Favre would join me in reaching the final stage of the grieving journey: acceptance.

We can accept his retirement, knowing that he tried until he could no longer play.

But I truly believe that until Favre can come to a state of realization that his best days are behind him, no one else in Cheesehead Nation will be able to come full circle and complete their five stages of grief.

So for now, we suck it up and with the tiny pieces of our broken hearts, we will pray (even more than usual) to rip up some turf and stomp out the Vikings' fire in Minneapolis on October 5.