Growing up, there were countless times when I was told to "act my age" by my parents. My mother used that phrase, the Chief was more fond of "who's the baby around here?"
Subtlety was not my father's strong suit.
So, we spend all of this time to "grow up" and what happens when and if we ever do grow up? We want to be kids again.
It seems we are never happy being who we are.
I was looking for inspiration for a column for this week and came across the following Associated Press story:
Mom allegedly used daughter's ID to be cheerleader
GREEN BAY, Wis. (AP) -- A 33-year-old woman is charged with stealing her daughter's identity to attend high school and join the cheerleading team.
Wendy Brown, of Green Bay, faces a felony identity theft charge after enrolling in Ashwaubenon High School as her 15-year-old daughter, who lives in Nevada with Brown's mother.
"The defendant stated she wanted to get her high school degree and be a cheerleader because she had no childhood and was trying to regain a part of her life she missed," according to the complaint.
She allegedly attended cheerleading practices before school started, received a cheerleader's locker and went to a pool party at the cheerleading coach's house.
A high school employee, Kim Demeny, told authorities that the woman, posing at the teen, seemed very timid, told her she was not good in math and even cried when she talked about moving from Pahrump Valley High School in Pahrump, Nev. Although she looked older than a student, Demeny said she believed her demeanor was consistent with that of a high school girl.
A school liaison officer started investigating Monday after Brown only showed up for the first day of classes last week, the complaint said.
Assistant Principal Dirk Ribbins later learned Brown's daughter was enrolled at Pahrump Valley High School. Ribbins also spoke with Brown's mother who told him she had custody of the girl. She also said Brown has a history of identity theft crimes, the complaint said.
The complaint also said the $134.50 check Brown gave to the cheerleading coach for her uniform bounced.
I guess you can go back to high school and do all the things you wish you would have.
The photo of the woman isn't especially flattering -- but what booking photo is?
In poking around on the Internet to learn more about this middle-aged cheerleader, I found this even creepier story:
30-year-old child predator poses as 12-year-old student for 2 years
Neil Havens Rodreick II, 30, attended public school in Arizona for two years before being caught. Authorities say Rodreick enrolled in a school in 2005, continually shaving to hide any five o'clock shadow and using pancake make-up to make him appear younger.
He's pleaded guilty to seven charges, some stemming from the charade, and will now spend his time in a far different institution - a prison cell, where he'll be for the next seven decades.
He confessed to fraud and misdemeanor assault charges as a result of the impersonation, stemming from an incident in which he grabbed a girl's buttocks at a charter school. The victim originally shrugged off the attack as the curious misbehavior of a 12-year-old boy. But when cops told her his real age, she started to cry.
Rodreick spent six years in an Oklahoma prison for lewdly propositioning a 6-year-old boy in 1996. He won't be eligible for parole this time until he serves the full 70 years.
It's hard enough for teachers to teach teenagers, let alone constantly be checking to see how many freaks want to sneak into school.
I always thought the right way to do this was to have children and have them do the things you weren't able to do in school.
But what do I know?
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