Routine is the cure for change

This time of year always brings a full range of emotions to parents and children. The first day of school is met with regret for the end of summer, fear for the school year that lies ahead, and the tangible proof that your children are growing up.

Change is at the door, ready or not.

The mind is a wondrous thing. Sights, smells and sounds can trigger vivid memories from many years ago. It doesn't seem like that many years ago that I was waiting for the bus to come down Third Street to take me to kindergarten.

I can recall going a few houses down to the bus stop, which was at the Bauer house. The Bauers had many sons close together in age, and I was friends with many of them, and we spent many 15 minute intervals waiting for the bus.

It seems like yesterday, when in fact it's been over forty years.

I'm sure you all have similar memories about riding a bus to school. You quickly learn what behavior will be tolerated by the bus driver, one of the most unappreciated links in the educational system. You also learn the unique pecking order of the bus: who gets to sit where, who gets to sit with who, which kids are the bullies, which kids will come to your aid.

Yes, the bus ride is your first foray into a new society, one that transcends your family and your neighborhood. Arriving at school, the pattern is repeated again. You are grouped with children your own age in different classrooms. One of the more anxious moments of the first day was finding your name on the class list posted at each classroom to learn who your teacher was and who you would be spending the year with.

After that was settled, the pecking order began anew. What was the teacher like? Who were the smart kids? Who could you hang out with at recess? At lunch? By the end of the first week, most of these issues would be settled.

The comfort of routine, despised just a few weeks earlier, would establish itself before a month had passed, and we would all go about the business of another school year.

Routine is a comfort to many, a way to pass the time safe in the knowledge that we need to be at a certain place at a set time with a reasonable expectation as to what will go on when we are there. It works very well for children and for some adults as well.

When the moments of change arrive, routine will eventually act as a bridge to get us through the stress caused by change. Remember having to change classrooms in the lower elementary grades? Your homeroom teacher would teach math, someone else would teach social studies, the other teacher English? It was a big deal the first week, but after that, it became a routine and all was well.

The step to junior high (what middle school was called in my day) was a big deal at first, but after a few months, routine took care of nearly all of the issues. We got to choose extra-curricular activities, and they sprang the big one on us: what do you want to do for the rest of your life?

High school was a similar stepping stone, with even more choices and more pressure to decide a career. By the time graduation came, we were ready (or at least we thought we were) to take the next step.

More routines took care of the change, with college or jobs. Then we married, had our own children, and are repeating the entire process. Only this time, we have the benefit of our memories to help ease the transition.

Good luck to all students for this school year. Parents, try to remember what it was like for you as a student. Even though your kids probably think you rode a dinosaur to school, there are timeless solutions to the problems your children may face. Sharing is a good thing.

As always, I welcome your comments. You can reach me by email at tstangl@lemarscomm.net, telephone 712-546-7031, x40 or toll free 1-800-728-0066 x40.

Thanks for reading, I'll keep in touch. Feel free to do the same.