It smells like wet foot.

Wet dog foot.

Wet dog foot after the wet dog walked through a pile of rotting pumpkins.

The thing is, usually if something is smelly, the solution is very simple. Just get rid of the offending item. Perfect.

Only one problem: I can't find the source.

Is it coming from under the seats? Inside the glove compartment? Through the vents? Is it something that crawled under my hood and died there? I don't even know where to start.

In all my life, I've never bought Febreeze, but I'm considering it. That would probably only be like putting a bandaid on a third degree burn with a compound fracture, though. I wonder how many of those pine tree air freshners would it take...

I've sort of been banking on the idea that if I ignore it for long enough it will eventually go away.

But as far as ignoring it goes, a quick review of history of smelly things -- dirty diapers, moldy leftovers, dirty socks, loaded catboxes -- well, let's just say it doesn't look too promising.