Nature's little darlings. Invisible to the naked eye.

I've got little itchy red bumps on my legs, and I'm praying for the best.

Best case scenario: A hungry mosquito thought he ran into two sunburned buffet lines and went to work.

More likely: Chiggers.

Spent the weekend with my relatives at a cabin on Lake Shetek, Minn. In my experience "family vacations" are the number one cause of family stress in America today.

Good thing my family operates on the concept, "If it doesn't kill you, you should try it again."

i.e. The time torrential rains created a new Amazon River . . . through our tent.

Anyway, we spent this Saturday out on the water then hit up a barn dance at this dodgy little joint that would make OSHA officers weep like children. Life was good.

Then my cousin had a brilliant idea. Why don't we try to sleep on this giant inflatable innertube/trampoline floating off the end of the dock? The stars were beautiful, the night was cool, and if you didn't get too close to the middle where it sagged, you stayed pretty dry.

Woke up and felt slightly rested. Then the itching started.

A wise man (William Lyon, the author of an Ohio State University article) wrote: "Probably no creature on earth can cause as much torment for its size than the tiny chigger."

Basically what the baby chiggers do is stick their bitsy fangs into your skin, squeeze in some poison that liquefies your flesh, and suck the goopy stuff up.

Yummy.

So as I sit here trying not to scratch, I distract myself by thinking of how much I love my family. Besides, if it weren't for misadventure, family vacation stories would be a bore.

Bon voyage on all your family travels, believe me, the memories will be worth it.

Anyone know a good remedy for chigger bites?